Stoney's post and the comments following got me to thinking about customer service so I thought I'd relay a story...
Driving to Thurso the other day to get the sand, (and half a pallet of breeze blocks and some bags of cement and, umm that looks quite heavy), I was less than thrilled to get a warning light on the dashboard of the van. Neither Malcolm or I are of that ilk - I mean the ilk that understands the slightest about vehicles above a vague understanding of what the peddles are for and what that big funny round thing is that gets in the way when you're trying to kip - so I was concerned enough to seek advice on what it meant. We trundled on to the nearest garage and I popped in to find a mechanic. Eventually I found three of them lounging in a back room. Umm - Tea Break I thought. So I apologised - "Ah dinnae bother son, wha' canwe* dae fo' ye." I said I had a warning light on but didn't know what it was. Without trying to transcribe the accent the conversation went like this:
"Have you not got a manual?"
"No"
"Ah" Awkward silence eventually broken by
"What does it look like?" It must have amused them to see me try to describe what it looked like which was sort of like a tank with a bit of fluid in with a cap and a spout off the side... sort of. The description prompted a flurry of discussion amongst the three which eventually ended with:
"It's coolant, or it could be brake fluid." Distant from that ilk as I am, I guessed that there is some considerable difference between these mysterious vehicular humours...
"I don't suppose one of you could come out and have a look at it for me?"
"Aye no bother" were the words spoken, though the body language said something far different. The helpful mechanic dragged himself up and wandered over to the van. He looked through the window, said "Coolant", spun on his heels and marched back to his den.
I have to say that the reception they gave me when I spent £1000 to get the van through its MOT was much much warmer.
*I could do with some advice here. 'Can we', in the local accent, sometimes gets contracted to ' can (w)e' where the w is inferred rather than spoken, but not entirely missed out. How the hell do you write that ?
2 comments:
Customer service can be curious indeed in the Highlands. Some years ago, we were staying at a B&B on the western side of Loch Eriboll when we had a puncture. The landlady told us to go to specific garage in Durness to have the tyre repaired, but told me to use my best, broadest Australian accent and the Other Half not to say anything at all (she has an educated Edinburgh/southern accent despite being Dundonian).
We went to the garage, I approached the owner and, bearing in mind the landlady's advice, did my best "G'day mate, owz it goin'" Aussie speech. The owner was very friendly, took the tyre off the wheel, repaired it, refitted it, and balanced the wheel.
"Thanks mate, bewdy, 'emmachisit?" (The latter comments being Australian for "good job" and "how much".)
"Fiver" was the answer.
When we returned to the B&B, the landlady asked how things had gone and how much we'd paid. I told her the garage owner had been very helpful and charge a fiver.
She smiled and said, "Yes, that's the rate for Highlanders, Aussies and Kiwis. Sassenachs and posh folk get charged £50!"
Nice one! You could set up a side line teaching us Englishers Aussie - sounds very useful indeed!
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