The Office of National Statistics is a wonderful source of data on such matters, as is The General Registers Office for Scotland, and this is what I gleaned:
- Firstly, Scotland (and for all I know England, Wales and Northern Ireland but I didn't bother looking this closely) and the UK seem to use different criteria and formats to report their data, which is deeply irritating. I'll stick to UK figures.
- Men commit suicide far more often than women, although I guess on average this is never more often than once.
- Overall, if you consider Scotland to be a country (hi Isobel!), Scotland has the highest suicide rates in the UK eg, 2002/4 Suicides amongst women in Scotland was 10.0 per 100,000, vs UK average of 5.9, and amongst men 30.0 per 100,000 (Scotland) vs 18.3 (UK).
- RECOMMENDATION ONE: Don't eat haggis.
- RECOMMENDATION TWO: Shave yer legs.
- I searched and searched the tables to find some good news for Scotland. Here it is, but there is a cost. As many of you will know to either your amusement, indifference or chagrin, sometimes Scotland only musters the status of a region. If you look at over 75 yr old women in the period 1998-2004, suicides in Scottish region were 6.9/100,000 - which is fourth in the league table topped by London at 8.4/100,000. There endeth the good news for Scotland.
- RECOMMENDATION THREE: Move yer granny out of London - Northern Ireland seems to be a good bet for that age group at 2.4/100,000
- Looking at women of all age groups, by county, the picture is mixed. The top three highest suicide rates are found in Glasgow (15.8/100,000), Camden (15.2/100,000), Conwy (13.6). Northern Ireland doesn't appear in this table until Belfast West which is ranked 33rd with a rate of 9.2/100,000.
- RECOMMENDATION FOUR: If you are female living in urban England or Scotland, move to the country, but not Wales, or if you are in rural Wales move to the city, but for heavens sake avoid Glasgow and Camden
- For men, the story is very different. And Scotland looks particularly grim with the top 10 all being Scottish eg Rank 1 Shetland (47.5/100,000), rank 2 Eilean Siar (44.1), rank 3 Highland (43.4). We don't leave Scotland until ranking 11 Belfast North (35.4/100,000), 15 Belfast West (34.2), 16 Blackpool (32.6), 23 Denbighshire (30.2).
- RECOMMENDATION FIVE: And I really can't over-emphasise the urgency of this - Men! Leave the house now! Locate the sun and run towards it. As fast as you can! Stop for nothing! You must get south as soon as possible. Fancy a haggis supper? Don't even think about it. Run. Faster. If you live on an island you are in particular danger. Do not let the water get in your way.
- RECOMMENDATION SIX. If you are male, and not gay, you should leave Northern Ireland. I appreciate this recommendation may be contentious, but Northern Ireland consistently appears quite high in the table for men, and quite low in the tables for women from which I rashly conclude that Northern Irish women have a tendency to drive their men to suicide.
2 comments:
Ah, but have you considered that rural areas may have higher rates because of better access to effective means of killing oneself. You don't do a 'cry for help' with a shotgun, for example. Of course, throwing yourself under a train in, say, Thurso, might be less effective unless you end up dying of boredom waiting for the train so London would have the edge there.
...or better still, leave the kingdom altogether like I did. Works a treat!
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