Some days

If you've ever kept goats, I think you'll know how good and obedient and cooperative and wonderful they can be. I guess you'll also know how bloody obstinate they can be too. And how collectively they choose days when they are just not going to do anything you want them to do. And you can feel them laughing at you. And pointing. It's such a laugh. Bloody ha ha ha.

So the other morning I'd decided to get a job done. It was going to be tough, - it was one of those jobs that once started had to be finished - and with just me, in just a day between goat milkings - ooh now that is going to be tricky.

Of course this is the morning that the goats decide to be funny buggas. So I started the job nigh on an hour later than I'd planned - but because the goats had given me hell I'd retreated for a second breakfast around 9:30 and reckoned I could work through without lunch and so could make up the time the goats had cost me.

The job needed the wheelbarrow. The old wheel barrow would be the best. Where is it? Oh yes - full of oats. Empty the oats into the feed bins first. While doing this I noticed the tyre on the wheelbarrow was completely flat - so once emptied I went to reflate the tyre - which promptly exploded.

Oh well - I guess I'll use the new wheelbarrow. Where is it? Oh yes it's down at the cottage - waiting to be used to clean out the guinea pigs. Ach I might as well do that anyway - it'll only take me half an hour - they seriously need cleaning out.

So right here goes. Mix cement in cement mixer. Pour cement into wheelbarrow. Tshht! The new wheelbarrow is bigger than the old one and you can't tip the cement into it. Oh well, I guess I just need to swap wheels and then I'll be able to use the old wheelbarrow with the new wheel.

Can't seem to find a spanner that fits this nut. Best go down to the cottage and get the tool box with all the spanners in it. Good that's it. But the nut on this old wheelbarrow is seriously seized. Need the WD 40. Where is it? Oh yes - it'll be down at the cottage. Oh well off we go.

Right. Good. Sorted. Lets go.

The day continued like this. I worked solid through to about 4:30 - interrupted about once an hour when the chain came off the cement mixer. I stopped about 4:30 cos I'd run out of cement. Job not finished as I'd promised myself. Bollox.

I rushed down to the cottage, hastily threw myself together a toad in the hole with boiled cabbage and onion gravy and was back at the goats by 6.

They played up very merry hell. They knew I was tired and boy did they have fun.

Once doesn't really realise how angry one is until one hears ones echo resounding through the bonnie bonnie glens. Och Aye.

You f*cking little b*stard f*cking b*stards get the f*cking b*stard in there you f*cking b*stards.

I was finshed about 9. 15 hours working - or so - with very little break, very little achieved, in fact main job was probably ruined cos I ran out of cement at a crucial time.

F*cked.