It's over

Phew - what a relief. The temperature has plummeted - it's a good 10C cooler today than of late and it's good to feel the icicles sparring with my toes again.

The weather really hit on Friday. I fell over. My ankle! My ankle! F*CK.

So the last few days I've been laid up. Excused from kid feeding duties has meant I could lie in in the morning until - oooh 7:30 at least. Luxury. And all that weather - perfect for being invalid. Only, in truth, it's been too hot for me. So maybe I've spent a bit of time lounging outside, but then rushed indoors to escape from that funny bright round thing in the sky.

But the garden is going ape. Why do weeds grow so much better than the things you actually want to grow? And if I decided I wanted to cultivate ground elder would I have to spend all my days trying to get rid of lettuce and carrots and stuff? Maybe I should try it.

We had a family day out on Sunday. A rare thing and very enjoyable. We went to Durness and explored a bit, and sampled a bit of the local inept hospitality. We stopped in a cafe for a bite to eat and only had to wait an hour or so for them to make up two sandwiches - a forgivable delay as there were already two other people in. Both were apparently single middle aged women, sat at separate tables, each scribbling in notebooks, one pausing from time to time to look out of the window with a pair of ridiculously over-sized binoculars. What were they writing?

"The tranquility has just been shaken by the arrival of a young family"

"I can see a rock"

I don't know. Anyway, after quite some time, one of the women was approached by the 'waitress' with a steaming micro-waved potato generously coated with lurid orange goo (I guess it was cheese), she looked up from her notebook with a look of what I can only describe as panic, and repeated in an alarmed voice:

"Ni! Ni!" I guess she was foreign, probably a Python fan.

The proprietor/'cook' rushed out of the kitchen area, looking doubly dashing on account of the white cooks trilby and fag packet in breast pocket admonishing the waitress - "No it's the other lady". Lucky he was around - Ni was on the verge of heart attack. Food handed to rightful customer we all returned to stupor.

Our sandwiches arrived some time later. I'd just like to mention at this point, that although it is good to have freshly made egg mayonnaise, it's best not to make it by cracking two eggs into a bowl - micro-waving until the egg and bowl have become one, then mashing with a fork and the addition of a gollop of mayo. No siree.