Weather

Cor bleeders. Wow. Phew. Gosh. Aaaah. Tee hee.

How many septic tanks are there in Scotland?

Proud owners of septic tanks in Scotland have to register their little beauties with SEPA - the deadline for doing this free** is today. SEPA have kindly given me a 19 digit reference number (which includes 7 letters), suffixed with the house name. Roughly speaking, ignoring the suffix, this reference number has 8x10 to the power 21 permutations - which, roughly speaking, is how many grains of sand there are on planet earth.

Does SEPA know something about population trends in Scotland? If so we should be told - and I'm outta here!

Meanwhile I noticed on TV last night that Fairy have introduced the UKs first squeezable non bio gel. I suppose that all the furore about MP expenses has prevented this landmark from hitting the front pages - but I find it hard to imagine a more significant event. I mean a squeezable - non-bio - GEL!! Mama Mia - it's beyond words.

And another thing - don't you think that Toblerone would be nicer if it didn't have those pesky nuts in. I mean really we just want chocolate with nougatty bits - those nuts just darn well get in the way.

**Well then there's the £1 administration charge for doing it on-line + 2p credit card surcharge.

Forest Enterprise

You'll all know by now that I'm a cheapskate. I go out of my way to make sure I'm getting a good deal - usually at utterly disproportionate inconvenience.

So a trip South to visit family for me and Ailsa is a great opportunity to spend hours on websites trying to get there the cheapest way possible (excluding coach travel - Ailsa gets very travel sick). On the day I did the searching the cheapest way was to get the train from Lairg, but fly back to Wick. This was impractical - life is much simple if the journey starts and returns to the same place. And anyway - me? flying? *

Eventually it was trains all the way (from Lairg). The tickets have just arrived in the post. The journey from Lairg to Hull and then Hull to Lairg stopping off at Durham requires a staggering 18 tickets. Why? Because, contrary to what you might expect, sometimes it's cheaper to book separate legs of a journey separately to take full advantage of those super cheap advanced tickets.

Even with this skullduggery, it's still costing us £150 for the excursion. If we could have been a bit more flexible on dates coming back we could have done it a lot lot cheaper. As it is we've had to get the most flexible (and expensive) tickets back from Durham. Thoroughly ironic.

Not a bad price to pay though, all in all. The total journey is about 1000 miles - so we're each paying 7.5p per mile, 15p per mile total. It would probably be cheaper to drive - but much less 'fun'. And then there's the environment of course.

* I reckon my carbon footprint is low enough to allow myself to fly from Wick one day - just the once. Cos we're all entitled to guilty pleasures once in a while.

Gloryless days

Ah - it's raining - I mean seriously like. Must be school sports day again. The garden needs a good watering so I don't mind but I'm going to feel sorry for all those drowned rats this afternoon.

Meanwhile a couple of kids (the goat type) are distinctly under the weather. Reluctantly we've put them on antibiotics.

There's a real tension between the softy rosy eyed environmentalist side of us that says antibiotics should only be used when there's a very real and obvious need - and the more chemically orientated that says turbo-syringe anything that moves at the slightest sign of trouble. I err towards the latter (but by no means in the extreme), especially where the kids are concerned, Jussi to the former. Hopefully we've got the balance about right - but I wholly understand how some intensive systems get carried away with antibiotics.

This of course only goes to show that intensive farming is wrong and that people should be prepared to pay more for their food so that producers can afford to put animal/environmental welfare higher up their list of priorities. And when I say pay more for your food I mean pay way more - I mean cripes! - have you seen the state of our business plan?!

Glory days

Jussi is making cheese again (yay!). I'm pottering in the garden. The weather is glorious. Business plans are still not getting written - it's too nice out there to sit inside all day......which reminds me.....

Sold

Jussi sold three kids yesterday- so Rameses, Rasta and Rhubarb (aka Strawberry formerly known as Rosemary - c'mon keep up) have gone to their new homes somewhere near Plockton. Selling three kids (well we sold two - it was a sort of buy two get one free deal) greatly reduces the work involved in feeding them so I'm very happy, and Jussi is pleased to have generated some income at last. So on average, our income from the goats is roughly £4:20 per week. Don't ask about the costs thank you very much.

...what business plan?

Big mouth strikes again...

...you know the sort of thing - you're trapped in a car for three hours with people you don't really know and big gob rushes in to fill those silences - this time choosing to wax about how good yer homebrew is.

Chickens roost. They're all coming round tonight to sample the ale. Here's a stock take, I suspect there'll be quite a bit less come tomorrow.

Rhubarb are not the only fruit...

So does rhubarb have a plural or is it plural already like sheep? My favourite on-line dictionary is of no help - although it does offer the following etymology which, if you ask me, is rhubarb.

late middle English (denoting the rootstock of other plants of this genus used medicinally) from Old French reubarbe, from a shortening of medieval latin rheubarbarum , (alteration by association with rheum 'rhubarb') of rhabarbarum 'foreign rhubarb' from Greek rha (also meaning rhubarb) + barbaros 'foreign'.

Glad to have cleared that up for you.

Anyway. Recipe followers might like to know about the following variation: add the zest of a lemon to the crumble mix. And since it's in your hand you may as well add the juice of the lemon to the rhubarb. The lemon zest is discretely** undetectable and the lemon juice keeps the rhabarbarum alive (given that it is easy to kill it by adding too much sugar on account of it being so sour - maybe I just got lucky last night but the rheubarbarum was the tastiest I've managed to get it last night and I blame the lemon juice).

What I suspect would work very well would be to use the crushed coriander seeds and lemon zest. I'll save that one for a very special occasion. Meanwhile we have guests tonight and I'm contemplating a deviant ground elder soup. Perhaps that should be variant?

** Of course that should be discreetly - but how many of you noticed? The English language is such a joy.

Here endeth the lesson.

When I grow up...

I would like to farm goats, cattel and pigs, and work in rice paddies to brow sake, wich is wine made of rice because in a japapes legend a wolf and a sordman diffeted a 8 headed serpant that had a magicle defens that was broken when the serpant drank 8 poiafercashen sake. I would like to farm in Japan.

Weegie greens

If you live in or around Glasgow and, like Ailsa, have been sufficiently inspired to want to try a bit of growing yer own food but don't have the land, check this out.

Inspiring the next generation of horticulturalists

Ailsa look! A carrot.

Ailsa?

Where's she gone? She was here a minute ago.

Rhubarb is not the only fruit

An important reminder. I mean we like rhubarb - but it does get a bit tiresome. For the recipe followers out there - interesting variants on this recipe are to:

add a few crushed coriander seeds to the crumble mix or

add a few sunflower seeds to the crumble mix or

maybe both - but I haven't tried that yet.

Gooseberries soon - if we can beat the birds that is - something we failed to do last year.

Dirty girls

At Changeworks we used to spend quite a bit of time trying to think of ways of getting people to cut their carbon footprint. One idea, which I actually think is a good idea but no-one else seems to agree with me, was to have one day a week when collectively, we all agree not to wash (or at least not to use soap/make-up/deodorants etc). It would cut consumption of these useless things by at least 1/7. A good start.

Anyway - others have other ways of cutting use of unnecessary and useless chemicals (and associated carbon footprint). Try this one at home.

Ailsa doesn't wash much. School takes her swimming twice a week and that seems to do the trick - even though use of shampoos post swimming is forbidden by stint of some contorted health and safety gig the school seem to have. But she doesn't seem to smell of goat anymore than we do.

Random acts of kindness

Go on!

One midge doesn't make a summer

For weeks I've been obsessed. It's been a bit worrying really. Every spare moment I've been up in the veggie patch weeding. Weeding weeding weeding. Weeding.

And planting of course - I've opened another plot this week. Come next spring we'll have purple sprouting broccoli coming out of our ears (now there's an image). But that has really just been an interlude on the main task - weeding weeding weeding.

Yesterday I was at it again. Then, suddenly, came the sound.

NNZZZZZZZZZZZ

They like the warm soil. And it's a sign summer is almost upon us. So it must be good news. They're not really biting yet, much. But soon. Soon.

So there's a logic to the obsession. Veggie beds clear of weeds now will need much less attention in the weeks to come, when, frankly, pottering around in the garden will become... well... hellish.

Sunrise 04:49, sunset 21:39

I meant to keep checking the widget that gives me sunrise and sunset times to capture the moment that dusk vanishes - but alas I forgot. Dawn starts at 04:14. But after sunset dusk continues until dawn. Strange monkey.

Wind and rain returneth with a vengeance today. The rain at least is good news - the garden needs it - and inclemency means I can sit down and focus on the business planning - only so far I've managed to download several hours of free jazz instead. Oh and I've lit the fire.

Focus! Application! WORK!!

In a minute or two OK?

Ariel cycling

The weather has been so fab I even managed to get out on my bike - not far, but plenty steep enough! Every time I get the bike out I'm surprised at how great it feels and promise myself to do it more often. But somehow it doesn't work out. Maybe this year...

Runtu R.I.P.

Runtu died last night - around 8:20 - in our sitting room. He'd been off colour for a few days but declined rapidly over the last two days. We'd quarantined him and were caring for him at home, but unfortunately our care (and antibiotics) weren't enough.

Runtu was a fabulous wee kid - great fun and quick witted. It's a sad loss.

It's our first loss - and the speed of decline startled us. I don't blog all the little illnesses and worries we have with the goats - but there is a pretty constant overhead of paying special attention to this or that goat because they're a bit peeky. So far they'd always responded and recovered.

The loss was so much greater because we'd found him a home - someone who wanted to breed from him. I might joke about curry a lot but I would much rather find them all homes.

Our goat keeping mentors have been impressed by the general health of our herd - and have oft heaped praise on Jussi for her attentiveness and skill. But of course, as farmers are fond of quoting - where there's livestock there's dead stock. It's just a pity that our first loss was such a brilliant, and valuable, kid.

Uncommoners

This was a false alarm. Hey ho. Character building stuff.

Appetizer

For the morning feed the sun streams in through the stable door giving a fantastic light for snapping the kids.

Scroll scroll scroll for cute overload. With thanks to Town Mouse for the marketing tip.

North west prepares for military invasion

"A massive, UK-wide, biannual military exercise which last year sparked widespread complaints from north-west Sutherland residents is about to be held again"

Thus reports the Northern Times this week.

May is once again turning out to be a stunning month up here. The gorse is rioting, egged on by a cacophony of bird song carried on gentle breezes floating from an absolutely cloudless sky.

Operation Joint Warrior involves militaries from the UK and 12 other countries. At it's height the air forces will be sending 75 aircraft to bomb Cape Wrath on over 100 sorties per day including the new Typhoon aircraft coming in to drop 1000 lb bombs.

And there's a fair number of tourists up here to enjoy the peace and solitude. Cyclists, walkers, fisher folk and tourers. I hope they get what they're looking for - the weather really couldn't be better.

It's the climax of lambing too. We are on the flight path for a lot of these sorties - the screaming jets terrify the goats. Even the normal bombing - 30 miles away though it is - is quite disturbing. What will a 1000 lb bomb sound like I wonder?

Joint Warrior started yesterday and lasts for two weeks.

Kid meat for sale (2)

Following the last post I have been inundated by a email. I'll reply to this once the full economic impact of the venture has been determined. Meanwhile I'm hoping for more enquiries today - as most people seem to read the blog once they've settled in at work on a Monday morning....

Kid meat for sale

It's getting to that time and we are having to think about what to do with the surplus kids. We are trying to find homes for them but we'll still have others that will go to the table.

We're having some success with restaurants and suppliers to ethnic communities - but we've had a number of enquiries and wonder how much of a market there is out there amongst you, dear readers.

E-mail me if you're interested (address in top right side bar). But beware - hand raised milk fed kid goat aint cheap (and we'll make precious little (if any) profit out of the sale - but we do aim to cover our costs).

Viva la thermals

For weeks I've been galavanting about in a state of semi undress - I mean, like, without thermals. But really - for heavens sake - it's only May - what made me think I could get away with that? So with snow on the distant hills and a mix of sun wind and rain the thermals are back. I've even lit the fire. Deliciously cosy.

Meanwhile the winds are taking their toll. I mean look at me broad beans....I've had to string em up (they're a dwarf variety - they're not supposed to need stringing - and you can see evidence of wind burn). These beans are in a four walled bed - but somehow the wind just gets in anyway. Humph.

Wind burn too on the apples - but look! Is that proto-blossoms I can see fighting through! Will we have fruit this year? Maybe - there's lots that could still go wrong - most of it involving wind in one way or another - but it's very exciting .... isn't it?

The plums look somewhat less promising. The best looking plum (not this one) is the cheapy purchased for less than a fiver from Lidl.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the world...

Flat batteries

I made a special effort to take the camera up for feeding the kids this morning. There were a number of shots I wanted to take in the morning light - bright sunshine as it was.

Bright sunshine sounds good doesn't it? What the camera wouldn't have shown you were the winds gusting to 70 mph. But that's academic because the camera batteries were flat. A bit of a metaphor really.

So today has been a day of extreme laziness. Here's hoping for vim and vigour tomorrow.

Maldon Sea Salt

I wish I could show you a picture of the face of the lassie behind the counter of the local shop when a rather too posh English tourist asked in a rather too loud a voice for Maldon Sea Salt.

But I can't. So you'll have to imagine it.

Shakespeare and all that crap

We have a near neighbour, in two senses of the word given that he's not moved in yet, who, in a former life, was known to friends as Richard the Turd. Yesterday he came over for gallons of tea and to look in on the kids. He also inspected the septic tank and has suggested how to upgrade it - essentially he's suggesting adding another chamber to it. Given his moniker I'm inclined to follow his advice.

Another wee project to add to the list.

Fascist drills cabbages and tyred courgettes

Last April was cold and very wet. We'd just got here and were spending our time trying to organise the cottage, and I was breaking my back breaking new clods in the veggy garden.The April just gone has been stunningly warm(ish) and dry. Our lives have been dominated by goats and kid goats and I've been rushing about trying to do all those spring veggy garden things. So far May looks like it's going to be much cooler and wetter - so I'm pleased I've put so much energy into the garden - even though it's been a bit of a slog doing that and all the other things.

So at the risk of becoming a gardening blog here is a quick update on the latest ventures.

The top piccy shows an old tractor tyre which I've filled with top soil overlaid with compost. I've planted courgettes around the yellow things and hope to get two thriving courgette plants. Ridiculous of course - but I'm hoping that if the summer is warm and dry enough the tyre will keep the soil warm enough for the courgettes. If they can get a hold, courgettes are very productive and the only flaw in the plans is that 'if'.

Also in that piccy is a new bed I opened to get the top soil for the tyre. And in there I've planted fennel. Fennel is an Italian favourite - and therefore obviously suited to the Northern Scottish climate. What am I thinking of? Really! But one day I came home from the garden centre with a packet of fennel seeds so I've got to try them huh?

Under that is a very dull piccy of a brassica patch. Purple sprouting broccoli and erm minicole cabbage and brussels sprouts - I think.....

Then we have the drill. There were two of these old seeds drills kicking around and I've hauled them up into the garden to be used as carrot beds. I've filled them with a sand/compost mix. One is Ailsa's - with rainbow carrots, spring onions and lettuce, and one is mine with Nantes carrots and garlic. If I can keep the beds watered we should get good carrots....as for the garlic - another impulse buy - everyone seems to have planted their garlic over the winter but on the packet it said you could plant them up to May.

And as evidence that humans tend to become more right wing as they grow older, the final piccy shows creeping facist tendencies - I mean planting things in strict rows delineated by string - with the spacing between the rows actually measured! Oh Anarchist streak where art thou? Unfortunately - planting things in strict rows is a whole lot easier to manage and saves a lot of work in the long run. So, from top, left to right, we have leeks, parsnip, lettuce, garlic, pak choi, spinach, chard, parsnips. But the big question is what colour should I choose for my gardening uniform?

Also planted in the tree bed are a load of peas and beans. Highly speculative - but for some reason seeds packets always have hundreds of seeds and I'd rather plant them than save them till next year.

End of gardening blog.

Post bagging blog post

I know it sounds a wee bitty pathetic - but I've not been blogging much this week because - I could say I've been busy, which I have, but that's really no excuse - no, the real reason is I've been utterly Kenackered - and I fear I must confess that it's taken me the best part of a week to recover from the heady highs of Ben Hope. Back to normal asap.