Sunrise 08:48, Sunset 16:07

All those threats of weather - well it never really happened.  I mean it was windy and all, but nothing like as bad as we'd feared.  But Sunday morning saw a new type of weather - something I don't think I've seen before and I think I'll call it driven frost.   A very strong, dry wind, blue skies and streaks of black ice seemingly driven in on the winds.  Strange monkey.

We are finding the winter tough.  The cold, the wet and piercing cold, is draining; but it is the wind that that niggles yer inner sense of calm and really does the damage.  Combine the two and it saps.  It saps our sense of vision and purpose and every now and then we'll look back and realise that days have passed without achieving anything.

But our spirits remain high.  There's progress - plans for the house have been submitted - we seem to be getting closer to getting the grazing rights we are entitled to (I could write a book on these adventures) and things like heating plans, and wind turbine plans are beginning to come together.  The goats are doing surprisingly well and all in all things are good. 

The consultancy work I've been doing is enjoyable and we're extremely grateful for the money - but it has it's negative side too - I find it difficult to do that work and maintain vision of life here.  And it took too many days to pull myself back here after the work I did over Christmas.  Of course Jussi is affected by my slumps as much as I am by hers.  The best way out is for us to attack some job, together, that's been hanging over us - and last week we started on building a lean to for the stables - something to give us a bit more flexibility during and post kidding in March.

Jussi is now bouncing around with renewed vigour and vim - as infectious as the slumps are - and it feels like things are moving again.  

We have two sets of visitors coming up in the next few weeks, and another making good noises - and this definitely helps on the morale front.  Just the mere thought of it provides hope and motivation.  But most of our friends are a very long way away - and getting them up here is a big ask.  Fortunately, many of the visitors we've had are lining themselves up for repeat visits - heartening by their physical presence as well as for the vote of confidence - people who visit like it!

Sometimes our resolve is sapped by the need to make decisions.  To say we sit like rabbits in headlights in the face of these dilemmas instills too much of a sense of dynamism.  It's more like sitting in front of a boulder; staring at it, wishing it would roll away, but doing nothing about it.

There  are two opposing but equally valid approaches to these situations.

First is reminiscent of advice a friend gave me when I was appointed as a Chief Exec.  She said - "You'll be confronted by the need to make hundreds of decisions, and you'll rarely have the information you feel you need to make the right choice.  Just decide anyway - hopefully you'll be right 80% of the time - a far better option than inaction and procrastination."  That is some of the best advice I've ever had and it stood me in good stead in the adrenaline fueled world of work. It's harder to apply when there's less urgency.

Second, and antithetical, is to accept that the inability to act is a product of the lack of necessity to act.  The time for that decision has not yet come - let the boulder sleep!  We spend a lot of time looking too far ahead and trying to make decisions we don't need to make yet.  Let it lie, its time will come.  You have to consciously realise this though, and consciously put it away - otherwise it just sits and eats you from within.  And to reach that level of consciousness I find I have to sit down and think - 'What do I really want to achieve, what do I really want to do?' .  If that doesn't remove the decision, go to the first way and decide anyway.

There's no great insights here - but even the obvious gets obscured by falling spirits.  But just now Jussi the Vim is bouncing around behind me, impatient to get out there and do some foundations so I'll crawl out from under me arse and go do it!