Class

What the hell are we doing?

I've worried about this on and off for many many months. And I've been worrying about Why we are doing it. And what the consequences will be.

I was brought up to be proud of the family's working class routes (in a class war context - a very British habit I think). Dad's mum was a war widow (her husband and all his brothers were killed in the North Atlantic convoys) and brought up her children by doing piece work clothes repairs for the Co-op. Dad was a self-improver and betime I came along he was a successful paint chemist and I think our working class credentials were looking pretty thin. I went to a middle class school and benefited from a university education (though I never really felt I fitted in in either).

My sister has been doing some genealogy and uncovered some of the real horrors of our working class roots - from census returns showing tens of people packed into small terraced houses in late 19th/ early 20th century Hull to aged agricultural workers being left to die in Lincolnshire workhouses in the mid 19th century.

What would that 87 year man, who'd spent his life toiling in the fields, make of me throwing in the absolute luxury of being a Chief Executive and attempt to live the life he must have sorely wished he could pull himself out of? Would he understand my complaints of 'stress' and having no time for my family, and of wanting to feel a connection with my food and my existence? Or would he scorn me as a soft, self-indulgent and irresponsible 'don't-know-you're-born'? An idiotic dreamer.

And what will Ailsa and her children make of the move? It is incredibly difficult to rise out of poverty and yet Jussi and I seem to be happily condemning ourselves to it. How disrespectful of the toils of my ancestors - how unforgivable to our successors?

On the other hand, perhaps that 87 year old man, who doubtless spent his life doffing his cap to the masters, would utterly understand. Imagine having 12 acres to call your own, with your own house and everything. What else could he have asked for?

As for my motives - they are true. It is all those things noted above and more. It is not about making a statement - though I hope to do so incidentally. And our successors will judge for themselves. Jussi and I think that, once again, having 12 acres and a house will be a sign of true wealth in time to come. And, we hope, the spiritual wealth that comes from connectedness with the land, and being a part of a small community will be equally valued.

Inspiration for this post: Twee middle class
What would my grandfather think? (and look at the preceding post for a great piccy of her grandfather)