New weather!

Wind - aye - I've told you about wind before.

Snow - yep - that one's covered.

Freeeeeezin cold - ditto.

So what could possibly be new on the weather front. Erm - have you guessed yet?

Hows about gale force winds, driving, and man I mean driving, snow and sub-zero temperatures made all the more grim by the gales.

Armour plated thermals for christmas please.

But I'm the lucky one! Most times I hide from it. Jussi goes out in it. Morning noon and evening feeding watering and shuffling the goats.

Grim up north. Aye.

We have over a weeks supply of hay. Gin and Whiskey. Pasta. Job done - heavenly so it is.

Gritless and grinless and ginless

I keep trying to blog - so I've a number of draft blogs not yet posted - but truth is things is tough just now, and it's quite hard to blog tough, blogging funny or plain observational is easy enough, but when things is tough, and nothing much is funny, or what you are looking at is grim blogging threatens to breach the walls of the rural idyll we are psychologically encamped in. And we don't like to do that.

In summary - we are nervous. Nervous because we have to get hay once a week, and we keep getting snowed in. Gritters do appear from time to time but they have a phenomenal habit of being the harbingers of heavy snow - so you have about ten minutes to try to get out, once that's gone the snow is too think again. Even with our new snow tyres.

We are nervous because we need to get a male to service the goats, and we need to get him quickly. But that's double trouble, somehow we have to plan a time when we an get out, and whoever we get the male from has access too. We've a choice of males to get - one is in Grampian - weather is v bad there, one is in Caithness - the owner seems to be impossible to contact, one is on Orkney and ice bound. The idea of arranging for them to put a goat on the ferry and then us not being able to get to it is more than daunting.

We are nervous because the builders have disappeared. Not through neglect - but they can't get through from Caithness, our heating engineers cant get up from Tain and progress on the house has halted. So close and yet so far. We really would like to be warm for a few days this winter...please.

We are nervous because we are running out of wood. The open fire is more a psychological fillip than any source of warmth - but there's something comforting about the red and yellow glow of it, and the house full of smoke.

We are nervous because the scaffy van hasn't got to us for three weeks. We are nervous because the post hasn't got to us for two weeks. We are nervous because we seem to have a sick puppy. We are nervous because we are lacking any Christmas spirit.

And we are nervous because we have no gin.

Snow

I thought long and hard for an original topical title. This was the best I could do.

Yes it's been snowing. A lot. And it's been freezing. Heavy frosts.

In the last couple of years we've got used to water freezing up at the croft - where there's a sort of standpipe arrangement for getting water for the goats. But most times when that's happened we've able to get water from the house. This year though - with the house under renovation - when water freezes up at the croft we have to carry the water up from the cottage. And 24 goats need a surprising amount of water. So every few hours we have to load a sledge up with water and drag it up for the goats.

Last week we managed to get to Caithness for hay - so at least that's sorted for a week or so - we had to ask a friendly neighbour to get a tractor to take the hay from the van, which was parked by the cottage, up to the croft though - cos the track up to the croft is too snowy and icy for the van.

The chickens seem to think we should be letting them into the cottage when it's cold - so there's a bit of a fight to get outside sometimes - though usually the puppy scares em off. But really, we are so cruel to not let the chickens in.

Driving to and from work has been a bit, erm, hairy. But let's face it, FUN! Going up hills is best cos when you lose control you sort of feel that gravity will stop you flying too far off the road. But what goes up must come down and that's a bit more scary. BUT FUN! On saturday the car got stuck coming up Paddy's Brae - but with the help of another neighbour we managed to push and skid our way up to the top, Hard work but FUN. We've spent the last couple of months saying we should ge

t winter tyres, but now the snow is here we cant get to the garage to get em. Oh the irony.

Just for Mike

Oooops - halloween!

Of course this is weeks ago now. Much more happening. I mean now, wellll, the stairs are in, the kitchen floor is going down, walls is plasterboarded - eeeh lad it's all go.

Mike wanted us to build a steel frame over the north of the house to extend it upward - it would have been a good idea but too expensive. We also used a cheap architect to cut costs. Pants. Pay the money people. But the builders are doing their best. Latest estimate is early December.....

Conflct

Deer kill.

Deer are an increasing problem on the roads around here. And they are dangerous. Sheep are more or less predictable when they are on the roads - and at least they do their best to get out of the way. Whereas sheep run for their lives - deer have a predilection for attempting to confuse predators by jumping across their path - and this is what makes them so dangerous.

So deer jump in front of cars rather than away from them. If you survive that impact the danger is that the deer has come in through the windscreen and the occupants are then kicked to death as said injured deer, somewhat understandably, panics.

Over the last couple of years the number of deer around the roads has increased dramatically. At the same time the big shooting estates are reporting sudden falls in deer numbers - partly because of last years severe winter - and this is affecting their income streams. But around here people fear for their lives driving at night.

I was at a community council meeting last night and a conversation has been had with a Head Honcho in the Deer Management Group who are responsible for looking after the deer in this area. I'll not name the woman concerned, but she seems to be responsible for running quite a large shootin' estate in the area as well - so there may be some conflict of interest there? Maybe?

The concerns of residents were put to her.

She said - well people shouldn't be driving fast along those roads anyway

The meeting said - aw fae fucks sake

She said - People could always put up electric fences, or deer fences

The meeting said - And aye - who's paying for that?

She said - Hanging unwanted CDs from trees can act as a deterrent

The meeting said nothing. Mouths were agape however.

The meeting gathered itself into a lather. Uproar - this is what we are up against - here we are with a life threatening issue, quite apart from the destruction of crofts and gardens and here is this arrogant woman (the language has been tempered to spare your delicate disposition dear readers) spouting utter ****** ***** ** ** ****** *** ** ****. The anger was very real, as is the threat, and the incompetence... and the arrogance.

Four nights, fifteen knights and a funeral

Prologue

So the plan was to drive down to Edinburgh - then to Whitby - home of the award winning but no more Little Beck cheeses, pick up some of their unwanted cheese making kit, swing round and stay at Durham for a couple of nights for The Girl to get some serious auntie time, and then hoof it home.

The plan was scuppered by the realisation that the van brakes were seriously dodgy. Off to the garage for a £400 'investment' in new master brake cylinder and front brake discs.

Night one

Having had to mess everyone around the first night was now Dunbar. We left Reay (the garage) about 2:30 and headed south. It was raining. The windscreen wiper wasn't working properly.

At the Country Store (On the A9 just north of Inverness) we stopped for refreshment and I decided to get a temporary fix on the wipers by switching the blades - not the wipers - you cant switch the wipers cos they are different lengths. It was a botch - but it worked. Top up the water in the van. Head south to Perth, add diesel, top up water. Arrive Dunbar about 9 ish - to a superb and I mean superb home cooked chicken Korma from Tadg. Superb.

Night Two

The day began for me in the Shoestring cafe (as was, it's been renamed but it'll always be the shoestring to me) - for a bacon roll and a coffee. Oooh that commuter vibe - tee hee. Then on to the Crunchy Carrot for a cuppa, lending a hand to set up shop and a reet old goss.

We left Dunbar about ten and headed south. Stopped in Durham for food and to top up the van with water. Employed 'Sat Nav' aka The Girl to read off the print out from the aa routeplanner to negotiate our way across to Little Beck and pick up the gear.

Return to Durham, stopping along the way to top up the van with water. Arrive Durham about 5pm to a wholesome leek and potato soup.

Night Three

Quality sister time with lots of shopping and museuming. The Girl bought an I Ching fortune telling kit and immediately wished for a Chinese takeaway for tea. I Ching said it would come true - and behold it did. Invested in new windscreen wipers for the van.

Night Four and fifteen knights

Left Durham about 10am and headed for home. Stopped for diesel in Dunbar and never started again. Kapput.

Knight one was a young chap with patient wife who helped me push the van away from the petrol pumps and with a swish swosh swush swaggered over with jump leads. No amount of me telling him the battery was fine would dissuade him from trying. Failed. He gave me the number of the RAC, they would welcome my membership if I (I mean the van) was less so many metres long and so kgs heavy. Doubt - indecision - I'll think about it. I tried to phone a couple of Dunbar friends and went straight to voice mail. I seemed to be losing battery power in my phone. I phoned Jussi.

The Girl rooted round and found her I Ching and wished to be back to school on Tuesday, I Ching said "Your wish could come true but you will have to work very hard for it". My turn, I wished for the van to be fixed - I Ching said "Your wish is unreasonable."

Minutes later Jussi phoned back with promise of knights 2 3 and 4. Shaun and Claire had Matty the Mechanic staying with them and they'd be over as soon as they'd finished their sandwiches. They arrived all grins and groans and grimaces and Matty set about his magic. The electrics seemed fine. Hitting the started motor as the ignition was turned looked and sounded impressive but did nothing. Taking various covers off and sucking teeth had little effect. Trying to turn the engine by hand, involving crawling under the engine in designer shirt with wrench and contorted face did nothing. "So", said Claire, "what should he do?"

"Scrap it." Matty had many strengths - empathy not being one of them.

Knight 5 appeared, in the shape of a Green flag breakdown man. He repeated Matty's tests and added a couple of his own. He told me how old Mercedes Sprinters often lost the top of their pistons and these fell in the engine and jammed it. Not terminal - but it'll cost more than the worth of the van to fix. If it's not that - it's something seized which for a van this age is as near as terminal as you'll ever get. He kindly gave me a quote for towing the van home. £956 + VAT.

We deserted the van and headed for Shaun and Claires abode. Knight 6, Rachel, was patiently waiting. She qualifies as a knight because it was her and Matty's wedding anniversary and she had tolerated Matty speeding off to help me. Now they were back it was time to put those romantic plans into effect. Matty went climbing with Shaun, Rachel and Claire went to Ocean Terminal. Brings a tear of warmth to yer eye so it does. Rachel and Claire took the girl - so I was free for the rest of the afternoon.

After one of the best pints of my life in the Masons Arms and finding the place devoid of potential knights I headed for Knights 7 and 8 - Lennie and Simon and copious tea and sympathy. All this despite being up to their necks in the final preparations for the teenage daughters halloween bash.

Knight 9 was Tadg, who'd driven by and thought there was something remiss with my posture and set out to find me on foot, despite only suspecting it was me and not really having much to go by that I needed assistance. More tea, more sympathy and a knighthood for Margaret (Knight 10). Knight 11 phoned knight 9 and arranged for us all to go for a pint. Chris (for it was he) bought beer and jollity and the offer of borrowing his car the next day for all the running about I was destined for. He also loaded my phone with useful numbers - local garages and the like - while I extolled the virtues of a board game I played as a kid (Nile - great game).

Back to knight 2 and 3's for a romantic Indian Takeaway - knight 6 alarming us all with her accompaniment of chips and garlic rice, followed by a game of Cranium. Bed was floor - but none the worse for that - though I cant pretend I slept all that well.

In the morning knight 2 gave me a lift to knight 9s where I dropped off the girl, and then drove me on to Knight 12. The oily fumes of reputation envelope Ford Ferguson - a mechanic of almost mythical standing. If it's possible to get back on the road, Ford Ferguson is your man. But not on this occasion. He listened to my story - threw in a good few stories of his own, and gently told me that it was extremely unlikely that I could be helped - and the best he could offer was a business card for knight 13.

Knight 2 drove me back to the van, and I phoned knight 13. Within minutes he appeared with his breakdown truck to carry my faithful little (bloody enormous) van to Haddington, the final journey before white van heaven where they can hassle innocent car drivers with impunity on fluffy clouds amidst blue skies. Knight 13 was being paid - does he really count? Well he gets my swish of the sword for his humour. To pick up the van he had to block a side road off the A1. And his gentle cussing of all the enraged motorists this was inconveniencing was almost the highlight of my day. Perhaps the highlight was when he scared the daylights out of a rather wanky looking white Audi driver when he reversed the truck, at some speed, straight at the rather impatient looking pillock. Knight 13 - Scott of Randy's Garage Haddington.

Knight 13 dropped me off in Dunbar and I grabbed breakfast from the butcher in the High Street. A quick call to knight 11 confirmed that the insurances were in place. I found where he'd hidden the keys and headed to Haddington to hear what they thought of the prospects for the van. To be honest they were a little too quick to try to sell me a new one for me to really believe that they'd looked at it at all - but I'd heard enough from knights 4, 5, 12 and 13 to be pretty convinced it's time had come. So I looked at one van and made an offer on it.

My offer was too low - I'd have to wait until the boss came in - he was due about 1pm. It was now about 11, and I returned to knight 9 for extra strong coffee and to reassure The Girl that all was well.

Then I went to knight 2 and 3s to pack our bags and leave them the key they'd lent me, and head on to Haddington. I got there about 1:30. Boss was on his way. He arrived too long after 2.

There's things to do when bargaining. Shake his hand at the beginning. That physical contact makes you more human to the seller. Establish his name and call him by it - again reinforcing that human touch. Don't be afraid of silences. Let them hang. Open your bidding low, but don't be insulting. Gently point out the limitations of the vehicle on offer. Squeeze the sympathy - jovially telling of the fix your in.

I did all this - but felt totally out of my depth - this guy "Ronnie" to all but his business card ("Roddy") - or am I going deaf? - had dealt with more suckers like me than I'd had bacon rolls. Still I got the van for £500 less than I'd originally been asked so we were both happy. Never before had I parted with £2700 so easily. It was the first and only van I'd looked at in the first and only van vendor I'd visited. Just like that.

Paperwork and chit chat. Ronnie knew my home village - had played golf on the beach before he was married - before all the bridges made the journey north so much quicker...

Payment. Cash only. Sh*t. More rushing around - withdrawing three grand in cash at the bank prompted more security questions that I'd ever have imagined. Meanwhile Jussi, (who deserves a knighthood too yeah? Arise Knight 14 (actually she should be knight 2, but that would mean going back over this whole post and renumbering everybody)) was back at home trying to sort out the insurance. For some reason it was all rather complicated and, it seems, the old sprinter had never been properly insured - I mean we'd paid the insurance premiums and all that but the insurance had been in the wrong name to merit the no claims bonus they were giving us and so had it come to it, they would have refused any insurance payments. How the hell did that happen?

The upshot of that was that at the last minute Ronnie had to phone his secretary who by this time was standing by the post box and tell her NOT to post the letter to DVLA, so that the vehicle could be registered in Jussi's name rather than mine.

Ronnie gets a knighthood. Not only was he very nice as he counted at the £50 notes totalling £2700, he also got one of his guys to pump out the 90 quids worth of diesel from the sprinter into the 'new' van, had other people help me load one van into the other, and offered me copious help with other bits and bobs that needed sorting out. This guy made money out of me - make no mistake, but arise Knight 15, Ronnie (Roddy) of Car and Van Hire Haddington.

So fully equipped with a 2003 long wheel base transit, I drove to knight 11's car and removed our bags and then on to knight 9's where I dropped off the keys to knight 11's car, drank gallons of tea and picked up the girl. And set off for home, leaving Dunbar about 4:30 - timed nicely to hit the rush hour on the Edinburgh By-pass and Forth Road Bridge.

We got home about half past midnight. Slower than you might expect - even accounting for the long break we took in Inverness - but the road between Lairg and Tongue was overrun with stags - 'unnerds of 'em - leaping about all over the place. But traffic was light - I was on full beam all the way from Lairg.

Rarely have I ever been so grateful to crawl into my own oh so comfy bed.

Epilogue

You knights you knights you saved us. Thank you so very much.

It was an incredibly lucky series of events. Most astonishing of all is that the van should pack up in Dunbar. It was a nine hundred mile round trip - if we'd broken down anywhere else that whole thing would have been a heck of a lot harder to deal with. How lucky is that?

It was incredibly lucky that the van died in Dunbar. It is a whole lot easier and cheaper to get a 2nd hand van in the central belt than it is in the north highlands.

I Ching is scary. I've used it a few times and it has never been wrong. Not only does it seem to be able to predict, but it can also offer advice on how to overcome, and it can seem amazingly perceptive and accurate. But I don't believe in that sort of thing so that's alright then.

In dull moments, waiting by roadsides, in sleepless moments on floors and wonky beds, this has been my refuge - it's brilliant - go buy it - here.

The new van has the best sound system in the house (apart from iPod and Sony cans) - and I've wished for a sound system in the van ever since we got the old sprinter.

The girl never made it to school - we gave her the day off- no need to work so hard just for a day at school.

The art of no where

Moine House is a derelict shell of a building in the middle of, erm, nothing really. It was built as a half way house, high up on the moors between Tongue and Hope. A superb spot for a wee summer cafe perhaps, or an art gallery....

Saturday

Hey! It's a Saturday and all things exciting gonna happen cos that's what Saturdays are for. And for those of you who are persevering with this blog - here is a real treat - as far as I'm aware the pinnacle of German pop...

And if you are going out tonight - crank this up REALLY - and man I mean LOUD and immerse yourself in this fabulous ditty.

Walkies

It's a beautiful day and The Girl wanted to take Rupert for a walk. Walking Rupert is more like standing and waiting while he devours all the lush exotic vegetation .... like pine trees.

But we have have to get him in training - he's due to have a starring role in the school nativity play....

Coffee cake - DONATE!

Here are the heroes - support team and all. Go give.

And they managed to come for our first day of summer. Superb!

The last

and they sat and they stared at the floor, and where many sheep had gone before, now there were few, and fewer, and as they stared at the floor they saw their graves opening before them, for they are the last and they are old. Where once in youthfulness they could gad over hills and shepherd many sheep, now in their twilight they keep the sheep close. And the young turn away and look to quick reward and warm homes and long idle evenings, not for them the unending duties of animal husbandry.

I was there to offer them help, hope, to offer them eternity. Let us find some young buck and teach them all you know of sheep. Let's find a community shepherd, a crofters apprentice, an orra loon. But their long teeth couldn't be drawn from the habitual scratching of the earth, preparing.

But I will not give up. Just yet.

The builders are here - who's counting the days?

Prologue

OK - so read this with care and then make sure you read the footnote and above all come away with the impression that the builder is good and that The Geezer What Drew The Plans isn't.




A few quick snaps to keep you abreast of the exciting developments - there's more too - but on grimey days its hard to get out with the camera - so you'll have to wait until (a few days after) its been sunny.

The build is going well. The build is going well. The build is going well.

Convinced?

I'll try again.

The build is going well. The build is going well. The build is going well.

The build is going well, despite the architectural drawings. We had a lot of problems with the drawings when we were trying to get quotes for the work - a lot of trades complained that the drawings were too complicated, and crowded. But we've found a builder who is happy to work with them, or in spite of them perhaps. And he's doing a fantastic job. We like our builder! He thinks about the plans, he sees inside the plans, anticipates issues and discusses them with us. He is a good builder.

"See that wall there" says Big Chief Builder as he spreads his plans over our morning coffee. "Well it's not there. Don't know what the architect was doing putting it there. Anyway because that wall isn't there and we've put this wall there there is no wall there where it should be really, but not according to the plans. That means that this wall doesn't support the roof so we've had to re-inforce a couple of floor joists."

"ah" we say.

A few days later, having looked at this and that wall on our own we wonder if holding roofs up on floor joists is a good plan, and we remember that building control insisted on an engineers report and that the engineer insisted on a new wall - at precisely the place that the architect (and the man really deserves inverted commas) hadn't drawn it and the builders, naturally enough, hadn't built it. So we worry. We call the builder.

"Are you sure its ok?"

"Oech Aye!"

"Will we get the building warrant signed off? Should we get another engineers report?"

"Good idea".

So there you have it. Another best part of £1000 to go to an engineer who has to drive up from Inverness and, god willing oh allah be praised hey Buddh!, write out a piece of paper that says that even though there's a wall there that was meant its not doing the job it was meant cos it was never really meant to be there. It's safe. Sleep well. Tis fine.

...and all because we used a cheap non-architect because really it's not a difficult build is it?

The build is going well. The build is going well. The build is going well.

Footnote - the saga of the wall

With great gusto and much aplomb the builders tore into the job. They turned up, they cleared out the downstairs, they dug out the floor, relaid it with insulation and then put in the internal walls, two of which were, according to the plans, supporting walls. They put the wall which is the subject of this post where the plans said it should be.

Then they set about upstairs, they got the frames for the roof made according to the specs on the plans, they took delivery and they fitted them. But the Geezer What Drew The Plans hadn't measured upstairs properly. What appears in the plans upstairs is a good metre out of synch with what appears on the plans downstairs, so the wall in question is no longer a supporting wall cos it's no where near under the load of the roof. So the builders have had to try to make this work - and they have kept us informed about their attempts, and they are fully supportive of the need to bring in an engineer for advice, and hopefully sign off the builders attempts to make good a mess made by the Geezer What Drew The Plans.

The worst commute ever?

Takes me about an hour to drive to work - and it is stunningly glorious. I wanted to share it. But If I stopped and took a piccy every time I thought - OOOOOH - I would never get to work. So I only took a piccy when the ipod changed track, or when I had to stop for on-coming traffic, or cows. The road is quite bendy and its tricky handling the camera whilst driving so some piccies are a bit squint. Maybe that adds to the charm?

Living beyond our means

A couple of snippets here from new economics foundation (nef). The question that isn't addressed is: what can we do about it? The answer of course is very simple - consume less and perhaps more particularly in our society - stop consuming things you don't need. Things will eventually crash - and suddenly there'll be a backlash against scientist - "Why didn't they tell us?" they will yell over the clamour of the food riots. Well, we are being told, repeatedly, but no-one is listening. How do we make people listen? The day that marks when humanity starts living beyond its ecologically means fell earlier than ever this year, on 21 August 2010. The fact that we're blowing our annual ecological budget in less than nine months is not based on need, but on overconsumption. As in previous years, nef has found examples of ecologically wasteful 'boomerang' trade: the UK currently exports 131,000 tonnes of chewing gum to Spain, only to import 125,000 tonnes back again. We send 3,300 tonnes of cuddly toys to New Zealand, only to bring another 2,400 tonnes back again.
	An increasingly worrisome aspect of ecological debt is the depletion of the world's fisheries. Now, new research from nef and OCEAN2012 allows us to mark the day when the UK blows its budget for fish consumption: 4 August 2010. The UK does fare better its European neighbours, however. France entered fish debt on 20 June, Spain on 10 May and Germany on 5 May. The EU as a whole would only be able to supply itself with fish from its own waters until 8 July.

Revenge of the coffee gods

So there I was driving to Lairg for the launch of the Sutherland Partnership Action Plan and I was perturbed by a rather unpleasant rumbling in the car. Now the car has only just been serviced - new suspension and all sorts of wongles and stuff - so I was rather upset.

But the best thing to do in such situations is to keep driving cos it's bound to be nothing and it'll go away and if you turn up the music REALLY loud you can hardly hear it, and anyway - what can you do? Look at it? What the f*** good will that do?

But eventually - I mean that noise is getting worse. So I found an unusually large passing place and pulled in determined to stare the noise down into submission.

From some dark recess I decided that I should grab one of the wheels and shake it. Obviously you can't move wheels - they're like bolted on. But for some reason I thought it was a good idea.

And do you know what? It moved. A lot. It rattled. Aaargh. It was almost falling off!

So I found the jack. Took the wheel off. Put the wheel back on again and all was fine and dandy.

The man at the garage apologised in a really not very apologetic way "We all make mistakes" he said. That doesn't convince me too much.

Anyway I got to Lairg. Lord Thurso, my MP, gave the keynote address. He was very impressed by the Sutherland Partnership Action Plan because, he said, it included the word 'action' in the title. He made much of this word action and what a pleasing development it was to see it.

I do wonder sometimes.

Caffeine

So up here in my little office in Durness I have a kettle, instant coffee, but no water. (It's in another part of the building and I don't have keys).

And I'm thirsty.

At lunch time I bought a bottle of fizzy water - thirst quenching stuff.

But now, I have a long drive in front of me and I feel the need for a pick-me-up. ( I just know you're ahead of me on this one).

The solution?

Boil fizzy water for fizzy black instant coffee.

The outcome?

Wholly not recommended - kinda half fizzy acid tasting coffee is a most unpleasant thing. Still it should get me to Lairg.

The builders are here - working away

The builders have been here faithfully working away come rain or shine. Simon doesn't seem to be keeping you up-to-date (he's got a job now, you know!), so I've put together a wee summary of what's been happening to the different parts of the house.

The builders are here - Kitchen/Dairy

These pictures are all taken from the back door towards the dairy. Except for one, which is from the dairy to the back door. They'd left a bit of a mess when they took their 2 weeks off, but now we have frames for all the walls and they've gone back to tidying every day!

The builders are here - Sitting Room

These pictures are all taken from the office towards the sitting room. In the final picture, Ailsa is standing in the dining room.

The builders are here - Office

These pictures are all taken from the sitting room area towards the office/spare bedroom.

The builders are here - Back

The roof of the extension at the back (dairy, kitchen, and bathroom) is all shiny and new, and we have a gaping hole in the main roof