Apocalypse Now

I love the smell of goats breath in the morning. It's a smell beyond compare - all your worst school dinner cabbage nightmares come true.

Bonnie is not milking well. She doesn't like her milking stand for a start at it's my job, morning and evening, just before breakfast and just after tea, to sit at the cabbage end of her mollycuddling and feeding delicacies such as willow herb and sycamore branches to try and keep her occupied while Jussi does the milking. I fear for my fingers especially as my judgement is numbed by the clouds of digestive gasses I'm engulfed in.

As a smell, it's worse than the steaming reek of damp commuters on the 0738. As an experience it's far far better.

Still, to freshen up we all went swimming on Tuesday afternoon. It was fun playing in the surf but boy was it cold! This wasn't captured on film because Jussi wouldn't let me take the camera. Such a shy wee thing.

Nettles no more

Just an exuse for a goat piccy really - but this area used to be thick with nettles.

Bonnie's rack

The milking bench that Bonnie doesn't like. She kicked over her milk this morning so here it is after a washing down. Made from pallets by Jussi of course.

Work captain - but not as we know it

Tying up willow herb for drying. I mean it's a job to be done but especially on a day like today you can hardly call it work can you?








And once it's tied up it's hung to dry.

Big Sis

We had a very enjoyable weekend with Jenny here. In the main Jussi had things to do for the goats so Jen, Ailsa and I went off and explored lots of beaches and archaeology. I think Ailsa is getting the idea that archaeologists are strange people who look at piles of stones and speak gobbledegook - this is a contradiction to what I've taught her previously - which is that archaeologists spend their days sitting in pools of mud, in the pouring rain, singing Beatles songs (Balfarg 1985). But we did find a very nice homestead broch in the valley up behind Armadale House.

Of more interest to Ailsa was swimming in the sea - at every available opportunity. It was freezing - Jenny and I stayed wimpering in the sand dunes at the very thought.

It rained in Saturday so we went to Thurso to see Wall-E. A strange film - Jenny warmed to it's anti-consumerist message, I thought it tried too hard to be worthy and lost the fun it should have had, and Ailsa, in her 8 year old logic, thought it was just the saddest film she'd ever seen.

Piccies were on Jenny's camera and we didn't have a cable that fitted to download them - sorry.

And thanks for the meal on Sunday Jen.

Cheese ahoy

Sorry this was eaten before piccies could be taken. But Jussi used the first lots of milk to make a curd cheese (like cream cheese only crumblier cos it's not had cream added, apparently). She made 6 flavours - garlic, garlic and herb, plain, black pepper, paprika and herb. And very fab they were too.

We had it for lunch yesterday, on sourdough, and tea, on baked potatoes. Tonight we'll probably be having it with corn on the cob, or with chard and pasta.

Yesterdays milk is currently becoming yoghurt. So I need to think of imaginative ways of eating lots of yoghurt. (Hanging up-side-down with feet tied to the rafters perhaps? Too kinky probably).

This morning Bonnie kicked over her milking bucket and all that beautiful milk was wasted. This put Jussi in a bad mood - but I'm quietly relieved cos it's one less goat milk product to worry about how to cook. But that's very bad of me.

Wild food

Rosebay willow herb - aka fire weed. Goats love it and it's now in flower and we are collecting as much as we can. It's quite scary feeding it to goats, who want to rip it up by the roots - even when you're handing it to them. Currently we are using it to lure Bonnie on to the milking bench - a contraption she is taking rather a long time to get used to.

Surpluses are being hung from the rafters to dry - they'll make for a wee treat in the long winter months ahead. What I didn't realise is that humans can eat it too. I doubt Jussi would allow us to deprive the goats though.

So far we've harvested a couple of car loads. If the weather changes this week we might go down to the forestry between Altnaharra and Lairg and get us a van full. (The weather just now is very still - and even when bright and sunny as it is this morning the midges are in full party mode.)

at the feedstore

"And I'd like a sack of alfalfa as well please"
"What sort of alfalfa?"
"What sort have you got?"
"Forage, cereal, nuts"
"Oh I'm not sure - not nuts though - forage I think"
"What's it for?"
"Goats"
"You'll want alfalfa then"
"Yeah that's what I asked for"

Beauties

Ok people here are piccies of the new goats. Gorgeous Anglo Nubians.

The black one is Bonnie, and he youngster is Flavia. Ailsa and Flavia seem to have formed an instant bond.

They haven't settled in properly yet - Bonnie has to work out her place in the hierarchy. The other goats are looking upon them with deep suspicion.

But look at those udders. Lot's a milk which once we have a clean milking area sorted, will be getting made into cheese. (For personal use - there's much more to do before we can start selling it).

Wild Life Park

Ailsa is delighted by the state of the cabbage patch. Tickled with glee she comes out with all sorts of "Aw" "Cute" and "Cuddly" sort of noises. And I'm not allowed to pick all of them off....

Meanwhile my mum has sent me a collection of booklets on organic gardening. I read the one on slugs with great interest and discovered that slugs are useful and that there are carnivorous slugs that eat other slugs. The book is full of helpful hints about controlling slugs - but the message I took away is 'give up you'll never win'. Actually the coffee grinds seem to be doing the trick - I can't claim to be slug free, but I'm getting quite partial to the extra je ne sais quoi they add to lettuce salad.

We have a very rare species of bumble bee nesting in the garden.

The main cucumber plant now has three leaves - the biggest of which is almost as big as just a bit under half my thumb. But the dill isn't going to waste. A couple of nights ago I forgot to put a bag of frozen peas back in the freezer. So last night we had pea soup made with parsley and lots of dill from the garden. It was delish.

Jussi is away at the Black Isle show today. She had hoped to be there for a couple of days but Margo's mastitis put paid to that. I think she intends to spend buckets of money on things I'll turn my nose up at and say we don't need, and collect an Anglo Nubian milker and a kid. We about to drown in milk. And our diet will become goats cheese (omelette, pie, en croissant, con pan tomate, au naturelle, en croute, provencale, in vivo, you get the point). I might also attempt goats milk soap sometime down the line, but not for eating obviously.

I'm busy (well ok I'm not really - but I will be soon) tidying the house cos big sister Jen is coming to stay for a few days.....

Margo

Margo is a Saanen, mother of Matilda. When we collected her on Sunday the previous owner milked her before we left. There was clearly a problem - clots in the milk. The previous owner didn't seem too worried.

But milking Margo has been difficult and yesterday Jussi was in Thurso and so checked in at the vets to ask their advice. Their diagnosis was mastitis which needed treating immediately. So Jussi returned with a heap of pharmaceuticals.

Treatment goes like this. We put a collar on Margo which I grip and then with my legs I push her into a wall to keep her still. This is so we can 'milk' her and this degree of force is needed because having mastitis is making the milking uncomfortable. Yesterday we had to give her an intramuscular shot of antibiotics. Jussi had seen the vet do this to Gwendolyn, and we also have a video showing how to do it and with the war cry "I am my father's daughter" (Jussi's father is a doctor) she plunges the syringe in. I was pinning the goat so I couldn't move and Jussi waving the hyperdermic about was quite scary.

Then we have to insert a syringe (no needles this time) up the teat and squirt in another antibiotic solution. This is very difficult, not least because the application is made for cows and I think they have bigger teats - but so far Jussi has been reasonably successful and is getting better at it. I asked Ailsa to take piccies of all this but all she managed was a few interesting piccies of assorted bottoms.

After all this unwelcome attention we molly cuddle her for a bit and give her some treats.

The milk we got this morning was better than we got last night - so the antibiotics are doing the job and all should be fine by the end of the week.

G+3 A bit of a routine

So it's a bit early to claim we have a fully embedded routine - but here is the outline, written especially for all those on the 07:38 Dunbar to Edinburgh commuter tin. This photo diary was compiled by Ailsa - who has an interesting idea of what is photogenic.

Jussi's alarm goes at 6 - minutes before our second alarm which is a cockerel alarm clock banished to the bathroom but we can still hear it. Jussi and Ailsa get up and go off to feed and water the goats. I stay in bed.

Around 7 they return all hungry and worker-looking and I toddle down and force a cup of tea into me while they wolf their breakfasts.

Around 8 we all go up to do the "milking". As you see above it's not really milking at the moment but we are getting something akin to milk which is thrown away. Then we get the older goats into the same house as the goatlings and release them to the fields - they are invariably reluctant to go to the fields so there is a fair amount of coaxing and cajoling which would no doubt cripple an experienced farmer with mirth.

Then there's always a few odd jobs to do - Ailsa tidies, this morning Jussi and I re-arranged some hurdles, and usually I walk the perimeter of the electric fence to check all is OK - but I forgot about this this morning.

Around 9 we return to the cottage - Jussi makes a heavenly coffee and we settle to check emails etc. Ailsa whines a lot and gets to watch the telly for a while. Sometime around 9:30 Jussi will exclaim "Where the feck are the builders"

Later Jussi will go up to make something - this morning it's fitting feeding racks for the new goats coming tomorrow, and I will settle to do some of the consultancy work I've got at the moment. That's about as far as the routine goes - though something similar is shaping up in the evening.

I might miss Lennie's bacon rolls, but this beats the shit out of commuting and sitting in an office all day long. I mean hands down.

Too many vitamins

Jussi came back to the cottage about 11:30 - demanding an early lunch. She was quickly distracted by emails - sending "We've got goats!" messages to random friends. By 12:30 I was getting hungry and as Jussi was engrossed in her laptop I decided to go up to the garden and pick us some fresh lettuce (I had plans for marmite, peanut butter and lettuce on sourdough - yum!).

I also checked the goats. And there was 'sickly' Gwendolyn standing looking bemused on the wrong side of a bedraggled electric fence.

So lunch was postponed while Gwendolyn was re-united with her pals and the electric fence repaired.

But how the hell did it happen? It took her less than an hour for to escape and we cant figure out how she did it. And unless we know what happened we can't take preventative measures.

Ailsa is on the case - she's taken her lunch and a couple of Asterix books up to the croft so she can sit and watch the goats. I've suggested that she needs to take up playing the flute - then she can spend all day serenading them. It would make for a quieter life for me anyway.

Slowly they venture forth

Today, Ailsa is wearing a jumper designed knitted by Jussi. The design is reminiscent of the colours of the Sutherland hills in Autumn.

The goats were quite shy of their new surroundings - and it was their first ever contact with an electric fence which did little to settle them. But they are out and enjoying the nettles. They'll be gambolling in no time.

Goatlings

We have 4 goatlings - I can't name them yet, but the black ones are British Alpines and all have names derived from Gwendolyn, and the white - a Saanen - has a name derived from Margo (Ailsa insists on referring to Margo as Mango - after a Mii I created (on the Wii for those who don't know). One day I'll post a picture of Mango.

Gwendolyn

The vet looked at the off-colour Gwendolyn and confirmed travel tetany. He also noted Jussi's colour - very clearly a bit new and green and prescribed calcium and magnesium, vitamin and broad spectrum antibiotic. We await the bill. I strongly object to the routine use of antibiotics and might have questioned this had I been there (instead of blogging!).

However - here she is half an hour later already looking much better - and fit for some adventure.

G + 1

Day one of the goats and Jussi and Ailsa were up and 6 to go off and make sure they'd settled in. Of course they hadn't. The old matriarch - Gwendolyn - was unhappy, not eating and distinctly unhappy looking. We think this is transit tetany, the cure of which involves a huge sub-cutaneous injection of calcium and magnesium (not the pure metals....). Jussi phoned the previous owner - the advice was a banana, bread and call the vet.

Jussi is delighted that Gwendolyn likes sour-dough bread. I think they'll get along just fine.

And then there's the vet - who I think I've just heard drive up - so I'll go see how that's going. And I'll remember the camera too. I think I'll then begin a new series of postings called "vet bills".

G day

Up at 6, away by 7 for the long drive into darkest Aberdeenshire. When we arrived all I wanted was a cup of tea - but we had feeding troughs to dismantle, a van to load with feed and hay and feed bins and frightening-looking medical machinery. Then we had to empty a couple of goats of milk (also called milking I guess), tag the goatlings and and. Eventually I got a wee cuppa while the paperwork was sorted. Then the goats were loaded onto the trailer and home we not quite sped.

In all this excitement the camera stayed in the van (sorry!).

As a quick aside, I need to sing the praises of the van - it coped superbly with what was a heavy heavy load. ("La la la laaaah la la"). Good. Done that.

I'd been a bit nervous of towing - I've never done it before - but it was a doddle. The worst bit was having a police car behind us for about 10 miles. I wasn't sure if the speed limit far a van towing is 40 or 50 - so I stuck to 45 and they didn't bother us. The hardest part of the journey was was circumnavigating Elgin. The town signs proudly pronounces: "Elgin - making an impression". I'd like to suggest a change to that, it should be "Elgin - making you dizzy". Sooo many roundabouts. As I was a long van towing I decided the best way of negotiating roundabouts was to make full use of every available lane. I think somewhere inside of me there's a budding trucker.

I even managed to reverse a couple of times.

When we got back we had to transfer the goats from the trailer to the stables. This went virtually without incident - only two out of the six managed to escape.......

Friday night 9

It's gala week so the pub was heavin'. We were just getting into the swing when we were called away due to a largely imaginary attack of illness on our daughter. Honestly!

Anyway -- Grrrr. There was no Friday night.

Today there has been more gala-ing - a grand procession of five floats lead by a troop of bagpipers and then all sorts of fun and games in the school field. Our friendly mohican was dressed as a nurse complete with fishnet stockings. It was fun and I was better at archery and haggis throwing than Jussi. There's much more tomorrow but unfortunately we'll miss it as tomorrow is truly G Day........And we think we're ready for 'em. It's sooo exciting!

Truly madly goatly

All stops are out for getting ready for G day. The weather has come in but it's not too bad. We have a working electric fence and Jussi is making doors and bits and bobs like a mad doors and bits and bobs thingy. Meanwhile I've accepted some consultancy work - it's a lot to do in a short time scale, but money is money and at this stage in the business I have to take on anything that comes my way.

The really good news is that Ailsa has a sleep over tonight so there will be a Friday night in the pub. Looking forward to it. The campsite is looking full so there's a chance of some exotic specimens to offset the usual suspects.